My poor blog...........

I have neglected my blog as of late. I realize I have nothing to say. It seems I am just on auto pilot the last month or so. I am just not feeling real opiniated or thoughtful about anything. When people ask how I am, I just say "i'm rolling along". I think sometimes as humans we need to just "roll along" in order to give ourselves a break from the normal roller coaster that is life.
It isn't deliberate on my part, it just seems to be happening. It might be the calm before the storm, or it might be me subconciously preparing for some change in my life that is right around the bend.
Either way, I am just kind of going through the motions. I do know that "this too shall pass". The only thing I really know about life is that it is ever changing.
This reminds me of a quote by my man Shawn Mullins "Barely getting by is another way to say half dead"
He did not mean this in financial terms, but emotional terms. I cannot truly embrace life if I am "just rolling along" for too long. So, I will be mindful of this.
But for now, the blog suffers. My poor blog; usually so full of opinions and emotions, today is just a place to say nothing.
jb

Just let me die........

It seems silly to write in my blog, since my only readers are out of town. Who am I writing to? Well, I will write anyway just to keep it up.
Played in a softball tournament this weekend. For the first time in my life I was sick of softball. I played four games on Saturday in the blistering heat. Game one was fun, game two I was overheated, game three I got full on heat stroke. It hit me while I was out in the field. I got all clammy and saw spots and got very sick to my stomach. There were no extra players so I knew I couldn't quit. I started shaking at one point. I tried not to let it show, but someone did notice that I was pure white.
I managed to get through game three. Game four was starting exactly 10 minutes after game three ended. I was praying by this time. I found some ice and put it on my face and head. We were getting our asses kicked and the innings were going for 1/2 hour. This is one half hour of standing in the outfield praying I don't drop dead, and wishing I would. Of course every ball hit was coming to me, so I was running around like a crazy person trying to field them. I held my own for the most part. But I have never been so happy to hear the umpire call a game after three innings. (the score was 30-0) I cared nothing about the score or the fricking game at that point.
We were out of the touney at that point. I was very happy to be driving away from that ball park on Saturday. This was a new feeling for me. But heatstroke makes you not give a damn about anything that mattered to you at the beginning of the day.
jb