Others have said.......

I heard a good phrase today. "There's three sides to every story; There's your side, there's my side and there's the cold hard truth"
This came up in a conversation about divorce. It really made me stop and think for a minute.
My side of the story may not always be the cold hard truth. It is just my perception of what is going on. Hmmm, a little humbling.

I also read another good quote on a Starbucks cup today; "In marriage, you can only be as happy as the least happy person in the household"

And I will leave you with my favorite quote as of late;
From the movie "Prize winner of Defiance, Ohio" Spoken by Julianne Moore to Woody Harrelson
"I don't need you to make me happy, I just need you to leave me alone when I am"

jb

Jerry Garcia said it best...........

I have now had this blog for one year. It seems weird that it was only a year ago, when I asked Tony_C how I would go about knowing more about him, and he said "read my blog". I did, and then created my own shortly after.
Well, here I am a year later. I do feel like I know a little more about Tony C, but maybe even more about myself.
By writing mostly my opinions and feelings about things, I feel like I learned a few things.
The most important thing I have learned is there is more to me than I thought. One year ago, I was in a strange place in my life. Now, I am in an even stranger place, but with different hopes and dreams than I had a year ago.
Maybe because I know myself a little better, or maybe just because time took care of certain things in my life.
Either way, here I am; still searching for that place in my life that will not feel strange or unfamiliar.
It is said "life is a journey" this is so true and "what a long strange trip it's been".
jb

It seems age does matter.......

I discovered today, age does matter. To me anyway.
After another event with someone much younger, It became appearant, that I am in such a different place as someone who is 32. 43 is not the new 32. 43 is 43. With my age, comes a certain wisdom, different experiences, and a desire to chat about more than the "single life". Why woman do this, why men do that, what it means when someone looks at you for more than three seconds etc. I really don't give a crap.
And when asked why my marriage ended, I almost started crying. These people were discussing failed marriages and failed relationships the way you would discuss a coffee pot you bought, that didn't live up to your standards, so you won't buy that kind again.
I did not answer the question. It seemed a little too personal with almost complete strangers. Plus, how could I describe my situation? Maybe only someone who is 43, has raised kids, been married, been to hell and back would understand. So, for me, age does matter. Experience, some wisdom and maturity matter.
I left feeling a little out of sorts. These are not my people. I guess that's what being single is about. Finding your people again. I will keep looking.
jb

Does age matter?

Now that it seems I am entering the world of the dating single people,(well, getting close anyway) the question of age has come to me. I have always had a thing about being with someone close to my age. I never wanted to date a much younger person or a much older person.
People make snide comments when an older man dates a much younger woman. Noone seems that comfortable with it. Now, I'm not sure what we say when a woman dates a man much younger. "good for her?"
My opinion is that people are at different places in their lives at different ages. I hope to be with someone that is somewhat at the same stage of life as me. But what if you meet a younger person and they seem to be at a good place in their life? Does that make it ok? Does someone have to have raised kids, been married, divorced, been to hell and back before they are worthy of dating?
It might just be refreshing to be with someone for awhile that's done none of those things. There would be far less baggage and their outlook on life would probably be a hell of a lot better.
I guess I'm asking myself does age really matter? Why am I so hung up on it?
I met someone the other night who was quite a bit younger than me. When he told me his age, my jaw dropped and I said "dude, I am 43!" and he looked at me all confused and said, "so?". I was a bit thrown, I was waiting for him to say Oh my god, and find a new seat to sit in. He did not do that.
Is 43 the new 32?
jb

One Marine comes home alive..........

I was at the airport the other night, welcoming home an American soldier. He is my stepbrother's son, which I guess makes him a nephew of sorts. He has been in Iraq for over a year. While I protest the war, I do not protest those who have served in it. We were all there, holding our welcome home and we love you signs. I was surrounded by family, including the young mans father and mother. I thought of all they had gone through in this past year, the fears they have felt. That night, all I saw was the pride and the happiness on their faces. The plane landed, and we all gathered, and off he walked; shocked and overwhelmed to see so many of us. We cheered and someone actually played the marine song on a trumpet. It was quite a moment.
I watched as his mother and father hugged him, and realized how lucky we all were that he came home alive. This young man is the age of my daughter. I have known him since he was 1 years old. I have watched him grow up. I felt all kinds of things that night; mostly happiness for his parents. I watched as cousins, aunts, uncles, all gave out hugs. There were several people in the airport that didn't even know him that shook his hand and thanked him.
Today, I got angry and very sad. I thought about our family member who returned safely, and realized there are so many families out there that could not greet their soldiers at the airport.
They died serving in this useless war. A war based on lies, ego, money, and oil. I have always hated this war, but not quite as much as I do now. It seems a little more personal now. Our soldier was fortunate. I pictured in my head what it would be like for my family if he would not have come home safely.
I have never hated our President as much as I do today. My heart aches for all the innocent lives that have been taken. And for what? Things are not better in Iraq and we are not a safer nation. Iraq is in chaos, more terrorists have been created than there ever was, the entire world hates us, we have lost our civil rights, and thousands of families from both countries have dead family members.
Good job George. Way to "stay the course".
jb

What is happening to us?

It is the age of the "my space" page. I just went there and typed in this person's name and bingo, there it was.
I wanted to see what this person was about, and now I know.
We are just laying ourselves out all over the place. We blog and we have my space pages. You can get to know someone without even saying hi to them.
This is exactly why I remain anonymous on my blog. No one can just type in my name and find me. If someone has an interest in what I'm about, they will have to actually talk to me.
I realize I don't have to go to these sites and type in people's names. I don't have to give in to what I complain about.
I bitch alot about how we are so connected we are disconnected. Yet, I find myself giving in at times to the ease at which a mystery can be solved about someone all by typing in their name. It is scary. Really it is. I don't think all these new ways of communicating are helping anyone. It's taking the fun out of being human. It's like when phone operator's went automatic. Remember when you used to be able to dial the operator and ask her what time it was? I used to do that alot when I was young, just because I liked the fact that you could. I miss the operator lady and I miss wondering about someone enough that it forced you to strike up a conversation.
jb

The City by the bay..........

Once again, I left my heart in San Francisco. What a city! It's weird how you go from high end shopping (which quite frankly, does nothing for me`but I had to pull my friend out of Macy's ) I do not travel to shop, I travel to experience the city.
The most interesting to me is China Town. The frantic way the locals are shopping for food just kills me. They are grabbing and shoving and yelling as if this is the last day all that food will be there. The smell of all the animal organs in bins from Frog to chichen intestines is incredible. It is a world like no other.
But then I headed to my favorite part of San Francisco... North Beach. The pace is slow and I found the best fricking coffee I have ever had. This district known as Little Italy is where I would live. To sit on the sidewalk with the locals drinking the best latte in the world was very pleasant. I immedietely wanted a little apt in North Beach. The houses are litterly just right on the street. Out your front door and 10 steps to your favorite restaurant or coffee shop. Amazing.
Then down a few blocks and you are eating crab sandwiches by the bay watching sail boats. It's like going to 10 cities all at once.
I have been twice and both times it was hard to leave.The first time I left I cried. I honestly felt as if I had found the place I belonged. If it was not so outragous in price, I might just move there for awhile. It is a life I can see myself living.
But, alas, I am back in Portland. Where all of a sudden Starbucks is not sounding as good to me as it did a week ago.
jb