Running in Molasses

My job. Oh, where do I start? After 9 1/2 years, I have been laid off. My job has been outsourced.
I have three months to work and then will be let go with a couple months pay and some freedom.
I have accepted this. Yes, it sucks. Really though, it has become a place I don't really want to work at anymore anyway. It's a blessing in disguise.
Today, after I have entered all the pay increases for everyone else in the office. (yes, really, I was asked to do this) they send out an email announcing 5 promotions!
When did good taste and being appropriate go out of style? Was there no thought to the 10 people who have been canned? That zipped it up for me. It speaks volumes about the type of place it has become. Most people were mortified they did this publicly. The kicker was the first line of the email about how they want to celebrate their most valuable assett....their people. Really? Whose celebrating us?
Well, we decided to celebrate ourselves. I called a meeting. We will meet once a week and more if necessary to talk, vent, cry, yell, laugh, talk shit, whatever it takes to keep us going. I told my team they need to be able to hold their heads high when they walk out the doors. Conduct yourself in such a way, that there is nothing else to do. Go out with every ounce of dignity you can find. We all agreed. We also all agreed there will be cupcakes at our next meeting....

jb

Gran

Why is it when someone close to you dies you want to call them all the time? Gran died last week and I find myself saying "oh, I should call Granny and tell her that". Only I can't. I guess I had these feelings when she was alive too. I find myself missing her dearly. She was my mother in law for 13 years and my friend for 8. I'm not sure if it has really hit me yet.  I have listened to her son's sadness and my childrens sadness. I have my own sadness. Of course, the focus is on her children and grandchildren. They have lost the most. But, I have also lost. I have lost a woman who got me through many a things in my life. Her common sense and kind heart was open to me anytime I needed it. I needed it a lot. I need it now and she isn't here to give it to me. I can recall our last conversation. She did not want me to get off the phone. Everytime I told her I should let her go because she sounded tired, she would start a new topic. We spoke for 2 1/2 hours. Did she somehow know that would be our last conversation? Probably not. I have so many memories of her. She was such a force in all our lives. To each person I imagine she meant something different. To me, she was stability, common sense, and unconditional in her love for me.
There will be no more bags of useless stuff on my porch, no more messages on my machine where she is laughing so hard you can't make out what she's saying, so she calls back to say it all over again and she's still laughing so hard she finally gives up and hangs up mid sentence, no more words of advice, no more phone calls on Mother's Day, no more sharing of recovery, no more anything. And this makes me incredibly sad. She was an amazing woman and her kindness to me these past several years will stay in my heart. Her honesty and common sense were often interupted by her generous and loving heart.
May she be roaming free out there. Free of the pain she lived in. Free of the secrets she kept. May she just finally be free.

jb