Back to the basics......

I have been taught that when you're in a place of no gratitude and you feel like your world is crumbling in on you, write a gratitude list. This is supposed to bring you out of your despair and put you in a place of gratitude for all you do have. I have not done this in a very long time. It's a part of my recovery that I know I should do, but just don't, so I decided to write one on my blog

My gratitude list:(things I am grateful for)
1.my recovery (which feels a litte sketchy at the moment)
2.a car that runs good
3. a warm house that is mine
4.clean clothes to wear
5.I have food and my basic needs are met
6. my job
7.a little money in the bank
8.children who love and somwhat respect me
9. Tony_C, The CEO, The kid and Z and their home
10.Family that cares about me
11.My softball team
12.My basic intelligence
13. I'm not part of the couple that was in my street last night yelling obsenities at each other at the top of their lungs while surely all amped up on meth.
14. My home is safe from abuse
15. I never wake up with a hangover
16. I do not hurt people anymore
17. I can eat ice cream by the gallons and not gain weight
18. I am getting my own office in a couple weeks
19. I have enough desire to do something about my the way I feel
20. My new softball glove

I have 20 things to be grateful for. This should make me feel better, but I feel like I am just going through the motions. But recovery is like that, sometimes you do what is suggested and you still feel like crap. But you make it through clean and it is part of the process. I was also taught to do the next right thing. In my case, this was the next right thing. I really wanted to go out and charge a new computer because I need one, but instead I chose to be still, do this, and continue to put one foot in front of the other.
I know if I do what is suggested that
"this too shall pass"

jb