Just for today............

I have been thinking alot about my daughter lately. She has herself in yet another unfortunate situation. I keep thinking things are going to get better for her and somehow they do for a minute and then she ends up right back where she is now. I asked her today in good humor, when does it stop with you?? And her response was "appearantly, never."
I was happy to see her though. She looked good. Clean clothes, hair done etc. And this is somehow comforting to me. She is still the funny, caring, great human being she has always been regardless if her life is in the tank right now. It's important for me to remember that and to see that. I am also amazed at how her friends stick by her no matter what. She received at least 5 calls the hour at my house. friends checking on her, telling her about their day etc. The friendships do not waiver regardless.
The worry I have as a mother right now is immense. I think of her constantly; praying somehow the light comes on for her. Everyday, I wait for a phone call with some horrible news that I cannot bear.
It is getting tiring. You get to a place in your life where you hope your kids are doing well, and the worry can stop.
But, just for today, she is ok. She has eaten, was productive today, and managed to remind me that she is my daughter no matter what. I will be more than happy when she gets to a place where she is not the focus of my thoughts.
This is not where I hoped to be at 43 yrs old. But here I am.

jb