Remembering the memories.

Our lives are just one long string of memories. Great ones, sad ones, funny ones, touching ones, tragic ones. Each one created, changes the course of our life just a little. We don't realize as things are happening, that this one day will become one of our memories. That's all life is. Making memories. For when we sit and we are quiet with ourselves, our mind runs through all our memories. It can't be helped, it's what our brains do.
When we go camping, we remember that one great week we had at Timothy Lake all the while creating a new memory of the camping trip we are now having.
When we have ice cream with our grandchildren we remember when our own children were small and we took them for ice cream. We are creating new ice cream memories while remembering the old ones.
When we sit around laughing with our new friends, we remember times we sat with old friends laughing. We are creating new friend memories while remembering the old friends.
Sometimes I think we don't live in the moment because we are spending so much time remembering a similiar moment and how it was different or better or funnier. But I don't know that that is true. While remembering, we are still living in the moment. We are remembering and we are creating new things to remember. It just goes that way.
Imagine when we are really old and we have spent alot of time living, which created memories and then we remembered those, all the while creating new memories and then remembering those.
When we see an old person sitting on a porch staring into space, we sometimes think they are just empty inside looking at nothing or that they might be crazy. What they are really doing is going over all those memories that built upon each other. They are no longer making too many new memories, so they finally have time to sit and think of all the ones that have built up over the years. So, when we see an old person staring into space and a smile creeps over their face or a tear drops down their cheek, we know. They are remembering the memories.
jb

Happy to be clean and sober.

I went to two parties yesterday. It once again reinforced that drinking brings out the absurdity in people. The more people drink, the more fun they appear to have and the more uncomfortable I become.
Party #1- Lovely home, great people, but alcohol was the focal point. These people were mostly younger than me and getting wasted seemed to be the goal. This led to some pretty "interesting" behaviour by a couple of lesbians who seemed to have lost all sense of good judgment somewhere between their fourth and fifteenth mohito. I wonder if the pants would have come down if they were sober?
Party #2- people my age!!! Beautiful back yard.. tiki torches, etc and FOOD was the main focus. Much more comfortable setting. However as the alcohol flowed, the people change. They become redicilous. Being the only completely sober one, I suppose I am the only one who notices this.
I needed a party #3- Where people ate, acted the age they are, and talked about interesting topics. Kids ran around and there was laughter not fueled by alcohol, and no one showed you the tricks they could do with their new breast implants. And you didn't feel depressed when you hopped in your car to go home.
I am shocked at the amount of people who still drink and drive. This is a topic I can not even go to right now.
Today, I am more than grateful that I don't drink. I have no regrets on what I did or said last night and there are no pictures of me with my pants down performing lewd acts on another human being. Ah. thank god for sobriety.
jb

Summer... gone before it gets here.

It feels like Summer is almost over before it has begun. The weekends are filling up. Two parties on Summer Soltice, a camping trip to the beach mid July, Dolly Parton concert early August, my brother's wedding. I have a "to do" list for my house that I wonder where I will find the time to start it. I am paying someone to do the first thing on the list. (finish laying sod) Maybe that will motivate me to do the rest.
Then before you know it I will be packing for camp which signals the end of Summer. After much contemplation, I have decided to go to camp again. I really did not want to. I was guilted into it pretty much with some strong words from a camp friend, (whom I'm sure I will thank later when some magical moment happens while I am there.) I get tired just thinking of camp.

For the first time in my life I was given a bonus at work. My pay off for the months of hell I went through this past year. It is just sitting in the bank wondering how I will spend it. I am seriously considering Disneyland in September. For now, it just looks nice sitting there and gives me a touch of financial security.
However, Space Mountain really is calling my name..........................
jb