My 3 minutes with David Sedaris...

David Sedaris is much shorter than I thought. I was greatly surprised. He seems so much taller in his headshot. He is also much more soft spoken than I had imagined. How could so much humor come from this tiny, gentle man?
He took the stage and entertained us with his readings. He is just as twisted in person as I had hoped. His humor takes a minute to catch up with you sometimes. I found myself laughing at an echo's pace.
I tried to remember things he said so I could relay to my friend later. Won't happen.
After the show, I immedietely get in line for the signing. It took forever. He has a full on conversation with each person. Which I find delightful, yet irritating as I am about 40 people back.
Thank God, he is talking to the girl in the bee costume now. One more robot, then ME.
It is my turn. The following is how my three minutes with David Sedaris went:

DS: Hi. How are you?
me: Good. How are you?
DS: better, now that I have a Scorpio in my presence. (takes my book, opens it up)
me: I'm a Libra.
DS: Hmm. oh really? (the hmm, says, I don't believe you)
DS:( looks up at me and spots my remember pin. ) Remember. Remember what?
me: remember the Holocoust.
DS: Hmm. It could also be "remember to do your laundry"
me: yes, it could. Or remember to take your lunch to work
DS: laughs. (the laugh says, why, yes, it very well could mean that, but don't try to outwit me)
DS: Who'd you come with?
me: two friends. They had to jet off to a party.
DS: You wern't invited?
me: no
DS: hmm.
me: it's ok
he is drawing in my book as we talk.
DS: (finishes the drawing, signs his name and begins searching through his pile of treats) Here, take this.
me: I take from him, this tiny, plastic, red devil with a tail.
DS: This is to hook onto your to go coffee cup, to remind you that you really didn't want to go that fucking party anyway.
me: thank you
DS: Thank you. Bye (closes book, hands it to me and smiles at me)
My three minutes with David Sedaris are over.

I walk out into the night and glance at the picture he drew. A turtle body with a human head wearing a top hat.

I laugh. Did that really just happen? Hmm.

jb