blah, blah, blah...............

Well, I guess what it takes to motivate me, is to get help. My son came over Sat and he did a bunch of stuff in my yard. The ivy is cut, the gutters are clean, and bushes are cut back. This motivated me to buy and plant some flowers. I feel a little better now. There is still alot to do, but he has promised to come back and finish sometime soon. At least my little deck seems a bit cheerier now with a few flowers.

My job is killing me. We are just gearing up for a four month long project. I am so busy doing my regular stuff, that I can't even get to what I should be doing for the project itself. The first step is due Friday and I have barely looked at it.
It is going to be a challenging next few months with a bunch of long hours.
It is redicilous the amount of work that is coming through my office. I don't understand how companies allow people to be pushed to that limit. It's bullshit. I don't mind working hard at all, but there comes a point where you just become this machine. I am going to give this project my all, because if I do a good job and all goes well, it will be a huge accomplishment for me personally and professionally.
However, if things don't get better after that, I know I cannot stay. I am not designed to work like a friggin dog every day and be thinking about my job while I am home. I have even woke up in the middle of night a few times in a panic over work. This will not do.
Some people thrive on being successful at their job, and while I want to do good and be successful, it is not what defines me. I find myself slipping over to the dark side and I promised myself years ago, I would never be that person. So, I think in the next six months or so, I will have some choices to make if things don't change.
I am watching people leave my company, and I know why; they just can't do it anymore.

The "bait shop" has become a metaphor for the life I will one day have.

Until then, I will continue this corparate madness, because it pays my bills, and it's what I have to do for now. It makes me really sad though.

But, the lilies bloomed today on my deck, so I guess not all is bad.

jb